Adults Honoring Parents 1
The Commandment tells us, “Honor your father and your mother.” But how does an adult honor a parent that is hurtful or negative? The first of this two-part presentation, Adults Honoring Parents 1, examines what the Bible tells us and offers concrete help.
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I was talking to a lady in my counseling office some years ago now. She was about, I’d say, maybe forty. She was highly skilled – very complex career. She was happily married. She had a son who was in college. The issue was her mother – how to deal with her mother. She said things like, “She puts me down all the time. She tells me I’m a terrible daughter. And she’s told me things like that as long as I can remember. She tells my friends, behind my back, that I’m mean to her when I’m not. I try to take care of her. She makes things up to tell people about me that are not true. It’s so frustrating and it’s so hurtful,” she said. Then she told me that her mother had packed her house with so much stuff that it was impossible to clean it. She was a hoarder. She said the stench – when you walk in – it actually made her vomit it was so bad. She said, “She begged me to help her clean her house, but there isn’t any way, really, to do that.” Several times, over the last ten years, she said, she and her husband had gone over there, rented a dumpster, toted everything out of the house and put in the dumpster, and completely sanitized and cleaned the house. Then, within six months, it’s just as bad as it was before. She told me that her mother claimed to be unable to walk and wanted her to take her shopping all the time, but she, somehow, managed to go bowling twice a week. Are you getting the picture? Then she said, “She knows just what to say to make me feel guilty about not wanting to come do all of her work for her.” She said, “…had a few problems in high school, and everytime my mother found out about them, she would go to him and tell him that it was all my fault.” So it just went on and on and on.