Adults Honoring Parents 2
How can adult children resolve long-standing differences with parents? The second of this two-part Adults Honoring Parents shows how.
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In the first part of this presentation, we discussed the parent-child relationship. Today, we’re going to look at some ways to resolve parent and adult-child conflict, and talk some about how to forgive each other of past problems.
I want to talk first about the path to healing – if there is a relational breach. In the attachment literature, they talk about relational rupture. They like the alliteration, I guess. And that’s what I’m talking about here.
Healing comes from two elements. It comes from the expression of regret and it comes from forgiveness. From my experience – in working with a lot of parent/child relationships – both parents and adult children, generally, need to feel some of both – regret and forgiveness – though I’ve seen cases where children really didn’t do anything wrong. And we say, “Oh, that’s just so hard – you know, that forgiveness thing, that feeling regret thing.” Well, it seems hard and it’s hard for a reason. Anger prevents forgiveness and regret. If we’re angry, it’s hard to feel those feelings of regret and to forgive.