And it’s like this when the blessings and trials that happen to us. Sometimes the biggest blessings come out of the trials we have. And sometimes, something we think is a blessing turns into a problem later. So proactivity – when we start working on our problems, it helps us to grow. It helps us to learn good from evil. And all kinds of good things start to happen. When we dig into our problems, we see a lot more than at first. And we have to sort it all out. And, in the process, we learn.
In know this woman whose daughter died suddenly – very traumatic – the guilt, the missing her, the hallucinations, the flashbacks, the chronic back pain. And this woman also grew up in an abusive family and had, consequently, suffered a blow to her sense of self when she was very small. And when she grew up she allowed others to run over her, especially men. She would go out on dates with guys she met online. And they would always try to manipulate her into bed. And she always felt guilty to standing up for herself – not just on dates, but with her mother, with her friends, at work, pretty much everywhere. Well, in the course of her therapy over losing her daughter, which was a very bad thing, she had to come to grips with herself. She always thought of herself as not very worthwhile and not lovable. When she suffered her extreme loss, however, people she didn’t even know enveloped her in a cloud of support and love. She learned from that that she was lovable. She stopped letting other people run over her, consequently, and that was at work, on dates, her mother, etc. Because she stood up for herself to her mother, her mother finally went into therapy and got rid of the damage that had been done to her. Now things are really getting better and they’re starting to get along. So, from a terrible loss, this woman has come into a new and healthier sense of herself.
You ask about the pain of losing her daughter. Well, she explained it like this – you know, it’s really interesting how much I learn from my clients…. I never thought to explain EMDR and the effects of it as clearly as she did. She was talking to a friend and her friend asked her what it was like. And she said, “Have you ever stubbed your toe really badly?” And her friend said, “Yes.” And she said, “Can you remember how bad it hurt?” And she said, “Yes.” “Does it hurt now?” “No.” “Well, that’s what EMDR does. You remember how bad it hurt, but it doesn’t hurt anymore.”
You know, life is like that. Sometimes we don’t know why things happen, but we can know, with God, it will all turn out for the best somehow.
Another thing that we can do is to turn our needs over to God. In Philippians 4:5:
Philippians 4:5 – The Lord is at hand. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God , which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.